STRANGERS

"Everybody starts as strangers ; some fall by the wayside and some stand by you ,till your last breath ".

. Life is a long journey ,where friendship is the only transport that is always bankable. We are not born with friends, are we. We see millions of people around us everyday , but we relate to very few of them . We interact with even fewer and an even lesser amount ,have the right and ability to impact us . But , there's a common thread running through all of them,everybody started as a stranger.

We would have come across million opportunities in our life , till date, to meet strangers. Be it your first day in kindergarden , your first outing with a group, your first day in college,travelling in a bus or train, going to a cricket match or even dining in a hotel.

Well , in most cases, its those first few words and sentences ,which breaks the ice. The conversation may be minimal , the words not so great or thoughtful ; but more importantly they should be right . If the two are generally able to sustain a conversation ; it generally develops into an intuition to know more about each other .The conversation may vary across a wide range of topics and issues ; but the ability to sustain it and make it interesting is very important . Its even more so in a fledgling friendship, as words are the only medium through which strangers can relate to each other.

It does not stop there . Getting to know each other is just the beginning. Friendship is something that thrives on one's respect for the other's opinions, likes and dislikes. The ability to relate to each other's attitudes and outlook becomes very important . Not everybody's a mirror image of one another. But in a way , this acts as a essential ingredient for a thriving friendship. Two people with , totally different attitude's and outlook , do find it sometimes , difficult to bond together and relate to each other. But ,even if one shows the genuine commitment and interest to get to know the other person , foundations for a healthy friendship can be easily built.

Some friendships loose their verve , when, a period called "Saturation ( a psychology term ) " ,starts to cast its shadow over the relationship. Generally, in such instances, one of the two begins to find the other a bit uninteresting and the warmth in the relationship ,gradually wanes. Its almost like a cancer . This is the most crucial period of any relationship. Building and burning bridges is very easy, but to sustain the faith in its safety and credibility is the most important .

Many do ,try and work out their differences and sort it out. And its always better to have a conversation , not a talk. Some dont take the effort , move on and try to leave their past behind them. Trust me, the second option is very painful and takes a long time to heal. Though ,some might find the first a bit impractical , because of the feeling that you have been let down and taken for a ride, still, making an effort is something we have to consider. But , yes, if you are thoroughly disenchanted with a person ,who was once your friend and has really left you in despair with his or her attitude and activities, then , definitely , its not worth the effort. He or she is not worthy of it .

Generally , relationships which somehow meander around these upheavals and differences , blossom . Some transcend into an even powerful emotion in love and some become pals for life. There's no prescribed tonic to get over troubles in a friendship. A genuine attitude, the ability to hear the other person out and warmth and trust are the threads which weave this wonderful fabric.

Friendship also thrives on the space, understanding and independence one gives the other. But , its not something to be granted , but rather something that should be an innate feeling . Greater this feeling ,better the depths of understanding .

I cant end this post without a reference ,to the movie " The Bucket List " . I do not know ,how many of you have seen it . Its a beautiful and poignant movie of two strangers who meet each other on their deathbeds and progress through a world of fun ,laughter and tears to become thick friends. Its an amazing depiction of this wonderful relationship . Superb potrayals by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman ,go a long way in making this movie , one of my favourites. I have watched it many times, but still certain scenes leave me teary-eyed. Do watch it if you have not .You will not regret it :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucket_List

Friendship is an emotion, we need to cherish and celebrate. It comes with no expectations . It just requires time , effort , trust and warmth .

Dedicated to all those strangers ,who have taken the pain to get to know me better.

In Solitude lies my Identity !!!

I am right now penning this entry, just to stem my frustration . Events of the past few hours have been overwhelming, and i needed a distraction ,pretty badly.

By chance,an hour ago, i came across the following in my tweetdeck : " In Solitude lies my Identity " . The tweet at first looked pretty insignificant. But , after sometime, it had me thinking. Ten minutes later, i could actually relate to it ,and lo behold , a welcome distraction.

So i thought ,why not give vent to my interpretations here ? After all ,writing kind of soothes me.

.Coming back to the issue. Solitude as one would define it ,is basically being seperated from people and trying to think and live independently. I find many people ,getting this definition wrong. Solitude does not mean you need to be alone and seperated, you can even experience solitude in your own independence !!! I strictly believe the second one is ,what i prescribe to.

. Hmm, i have never been a great social animal. But that does not mean i am a total introvert. You just need to strike a balance between both , and ,tread a path that makes you feel comfortable and at home. Your solitude arises out of this comfortableness . Basically, you define your own boundaries and within them , all issues and decisions are left to your independence. No interference ,whatsoever !!!

. I have had pretty strong opinions on solitude for a long time !!! I never really gave a thought ,as to what caused such depth in my feelings !!! When i come to think of it now, i realize it basically boils down to the people who shape your life. I hate people who, just jump into my life out of nowhere and try to tell me what to do. Hello, i do like my space and i want you to respect it also .

. Half my life has gone , in explaining and convincing people , about each and every step i take. I understand all this , is due to the concern they have over me . But ,when this concern ,kind of stretches into the independence i expect while taking decisions , it disturbs the equilibrium. Striking a balance is very important over here !!! Call this "Generation Gap " or whatever you want to name it as. Its more than anything ,an exercise in trust and confidence. Once you have established such an atmosphere, reasoning with and convincing these people becomes easy .

.Coming to the Identity part. I believe i have always, found my best reserves and resources ,when i have been given time and space to think . In a way, you can say my "identity stems out of my actions and thoughts , which in turn are influenced by the independence and the environment i am experiencing at that point of time" .

.Lets look at a very stupid example. Well ,it just goes to show you, how silly my levels of abstraction can get :P. Fourth and fifth semesters were my worst in college. One reason for my poor performances ( no i am not shifting the blame or anything ) ,was that i used to study along with a group ,whose way of learning concepts and applying them to problems, were completely different from mine. It affected my preparations for my exams a lot. Dont ask me why i stuck to them for two semesters. Call it friendship or gratitude. But , i knew a decision had to made , after the end of the fifth semester.

Some straight talk later, i was studying on my own. My performances improved. I read at my own pace, used my own tricks to learn concepts, understand and apply them to problems. Again , i am not squarely blaming them for my poor performances. But , it was a reason. Again, you might find this silly, but its a small example which might go a long way in helping you understand my thoughts.

This is not the only instance. I have always maintained that i am a bit aloof , and i expect people to respect me,for what i am . I truly respect those , who gave me the space and independence i need.

You know what's more important ? When you bring such a predicatement upon yourselves and when you choose to live a life of solitude through independence , you are responsible for almost every decision you take , and you are always under some pressure (inflicted by yourself ) to make the right choice. People will give their opinions, but the final decision's upto you. There's no fallback .

Coming to think of it, the above attribute has kind of really shaped my maturity(or whatever i have of it ). Now , that i am off to distant lands to pursue a dream ,and where help and opinion is always not available, this maturity will count a lot , when taking decisions.

As i move closer and closer, the thought that i am facing my toughest challenge is both an inspirational and overwhelming feeling .

Hmmm, so here's a huge thanks to all those who have respected me for what i am ,given me space and independence and , in a way shaped my identity !!!

PS : I am sorry if i ended the entry a bit on the blunt side. I am having a headache. Guess i thought too much :P.

Am i crazy or is it just my hormones ???

.Ever sat on a top of a small hillock , feeling the chill wind blowing against your face and stare into the distance with glassed eyes ? Have you ever felt desperate for a psychic vision , a glimpse into the future . See what life has in store for you ,and see how it pans out and see where it leads to you.
Have you ever longed for love ???

. I dont what is these days. I feel am becoming crazy . People i have been speaking to have asked me to take a flip and trip on something else. Well , after all i am a guy , and i cant be too expressively romantic . Or can i ??? Girls to whom i have spoken , give me the 'duh' look , when i told them i loved their eyes. Well , cant boys love girls eyes . Well do we always have to stare below their necks ? I am a strong believer that , love stems out of eyes. They reflect a lot on what goes on inside you. The face maybe the index , or whatever the saying goes as , but ,the eyes can never lie .

. I had a crush , a pretty strong one at that too for a girl , i met after a long time .It was the first time i had met her alone. It was neither her smartness nor her vivacious attitude that drew me towards her , it was her beautiful ,expressive and kohl lined eyes . They reflected every emotion of her . Her words were just a tool for conveying her emotions and thoughts, it was her eyes which gave everything away. Why cant people have eyes for mouths ? Well ,after all eyes can also talk.
I am sure any guy , who must have read this so far , must be "Tsk, Tsking " .

. These days i love reading eyes . I just hope my special girl has a beautiful pair of them , in which i can stare into for a long time , see them twinkle like stars , see them fog with her love for me . I know i am a bit selfish here, but i think its a small wish on my part . She doesn even need to say ,that she loves me . All i want to see is her smile , which will pull her cheeks up and make those eyes twinkle, bright and warm. Love is just not about being together and for each other , its about those moments of happiness and sorrow which goes beyond words . I learnt it the hard way in college.

. I learnt to respect a woman in my four years in college. I learnt to accept them for what they are ,and that beauty is just not skin deep, however cliched it might sound . I understood what is to feel being loved and how important is honesty and affection is in a relationship .

. All i want is a chance to give it back to my special girl . To show her what it is being and feel loved , to make her happy . Yes, i am desperate for love !!!!

. I have never understood love. From what my i could interpret, i felt love when i was happy, when i was smiling , when somebody put a hand around my shoulder either to comfort me or hug me .I have felt love in people's laughter and also in their tears. I have felt love through my mother's kisses and my father's strong hands . I have felt love through those wonderful moments i had shared with my friends. But , this poor attempt at defining love , still feels incomplete.

. I have never felt love as it is being loved. I hope she comes into my life, to define that for me. That day, i am a complete man . I hope she will walk into my life one day to teach me what love is .

. I am still looking out for her. Eyes and ears open . I hope she comes to me soon !!!

.Till then , i will always get back to that dream , of me sitting on top of a hillock ,with the wind across ur face and staring into oblivion and probably, a life filled with hope, happiness and HER !!!!

. Wherever you are , i pray that our paths cross atleast once .

PS : I LOVE HER ...

Kitchen Chronicles Part 1

**** I solemnly swear that i am upto no good in the kitchen****

.With just two months left, before i jetset off to Florida, i was faced with one of the greatest challenges in my life. Learn how to cook.
.The only dishes and avenues i had explored in cooking so far include hot water, maggi,top ramen,boiled rice, chapathi, dhal and paneer butter masala(thanks to the Everest Masala Mix).
.But cooking in a kitchen and that too under the stern eyes of an uncompromising mother equates to facing HT's paper without preparation. I think i might even prefer HT's paper.
Hmmm ,so i took a deep breath and took the plunge into the world of culinary delights.
But , slowly , i warmed upto cooking and began appreciating the art in it. Cooking involves so many intricate details . Right from the way the vegetables should be washed and cleaned, the way they should be cut or grated and the sizes they should be cut into, the amount of salt you add etc. They might seem trivial issues to start off with , but they can be mastered only with experience.
Hmmm, somehow i managed to pass muster with the "Peerkanga Kootu" and "Aviyal". Being the notorious person i am , the devil in me wanted to do something different and experiment. My mom was away shopping on Tuesday evening .
I thought that this was a perfect opportunity to suprise her. I started rummaging around the larder and the fridge. I found the "Idly Maavu" of the previous day. I remember her telling me, that dosai can be made only with a Maavu thats atleast a day old, because the "Yeasts" are very lazy and take a day to puluchify the Maavu. I had just finished eating Kellog's Corn Flakes with my evening coffee,as she had left. Putting one and two together, Cornflakes Dosai was born.
CORNFLAKES DOSAI
Copyright and All Rights Reserved : Vignesh Sundaram , Dated : 05/18/2010

Empty about quarter of the cornflakes box onto the mixer and add two tumblers of water. The amount of water added is very crucial as ,too much of it will make the paste very watery and too little of the same ,will make it too thick.
Run the mixture for about 3 minutes and empty the paste onto a plate.
Now mix this paste homogeneously with the Dosai/Idly Maavu.
Now, add a few teaspoons of oil on a nonstick pan and gently spread the Maavu on it.
Repeatedly toss the Maavu until it becomes a dosai .
Cornflakes Dosai is best served with Molaga Podi.

When my mom returned ,she was frankly outraged and horrified at what i had done. But ,she slowly calmed down and then reason dawned on her , that her lazy son had actually put some genuine effort. She rated the dosa "Parava illa " or "Passable".Not a bad beginning!!!

************************TO BE CONTINUED**********************

Holidays - One with a bit of difference ...

.Finally ,the three months are here . May, June and July . The time i had allocated for exploring different avenues and unwinding , but with a bit of difference.
.Doing anything close to the heart and out of the box, was literally impossible during my second and third year hols ,because of the burden that came along with projects. Now that i am pretty free, except for the VISA formalities, these three months provide an excellent opporunity to refresh my mind and body, before i head off on a gruelling and demanding Masters course (where i am sure i will find little time to pursue my hobbies ).
.First of all, i am planning to prepare a reading list and try almost every genre. Currently i am reading a thriller by Michael Crichton, a gutwrenching romance novel by Cecilia Ahern and a popular economics novel by Stephen Dubner.
.Second , are the daily bouts of jogging at 530 AM in the morning around Nageswara Rao Park. (Thanks to Madas and a certain side thoppai).Still undecided about returning to Hotel Savera for swimming .
. Most importantly ,learning cooking from my mom. Put the "Pizhaiyaar Suzhi" today with Peerkanga Kootu :D:D:D.
. Last but not the least, my upcoming assignments with Landing Stage . Though the dates have not yet been confirmed. "Footloose" is currently in production ,with the inaugural expected to be staged in the first week of June at Sivagami Pethachi Auditorium , MCTM School, Alwarpet. Really excited about this.
.Hmmm, hoping that i can do something meaningful these holidays.

PS: "Time spent well is a job well done" --- Robert Clive .

An ODE to my REMwriters

College's over .Senti.Period.
Enough has been spoken and written about the above two topics. But , from those tears and loquacious senti speeches , common sense will arise and spread all over the 2006-2010 batch of NIT Trichy. We will realize that we have to move on ,as one of my friends pointed out "Whether you do so or not , life moves on ". Its important you keep pace with life , otherwise you might just be left behind. In such a busy and rapidly growing and fluctuating setup that our life is , memories sometimes do take a backseat. Some of us even tend to forget our past ;bright or murky ,however it was.

.This is where memoirs step in . "REM BOOK" . A simple, yet amazing concept. When examined in a profound way, its more than a collection of few thousands of words in various handwritings ,some scrawny and some neat. A REM BOOK is a document that speaks clearly about what people think about you, your worst,your best ,your lows and your highs. Its a reflection of how you were to them and what you meant to them. Its a simple tool to document a person's emotions towards another one. As i keep on saying, simple yet amazing.

.To all those ,who spent precious time writing out my REM ,this post is a small way of saying ,how much i value your words. They are just not letters on a sheet of paper.
.First of all a big thanks to Shaik Rameez Raja ,for starting my REM in a colourful manner. Hope your life's as colorful as your entry was. Sticking to colorful entries, Karthik Ananthanarayanan deserves a special mention also. :)
.I also wish to thank Anusha Balan for courting my book for more than 10 days and coming up with an entry worth the wait :). I wish to thank Dhivya Sashidhar, Angela Vattoth, Harini Ananthapadmanabhan, Aishwarya Seshadri, Visalakshi Meena, Varun Srivatsan , Santhanagopalan Vasudevan,Vishnu Ponnuswamy,Selvamuthukumaran, Duraipraveen,Sujay Subramanyam,Vignesh Naganathan,Praveen Kalish, Arun Vishwanathan ,Vijay Krishna,Yasser Farook, Aditya Venkataraman,Arpit Raj and Santosh Prakash for their invaluable words and time :D. Thank you ,guys.
.Now for the entries which were really different and had something extra in them. Srinivas Jayaraman for his four sides of paper which documented my best and worst times in college :D.
Bharatram Pattabhiraman, for his two sides ,which bear testimony to an ever-growing friendship and warmth .
Abinaya Govindarajan for an entry which was full of straight talk . An entry which had meaning in every sentence and which made me think a lot.
And ,finally, Anand Krishnan for making me cry. Dont think i can get over this one.
And to end on a lighter one , the "Handwriting Oscar" goes to Abinaya Govindarajan and the "Handwriting Razzie" to Srinivas Jayaraman :P.

PS: Sridharan Ramesh , you still haven written my rem despite i putting up with you as a roommate for two years.

PPS: Harshavardhan Rajendrababu, i am not giving you my rem till i leave.

Keerai Masiyal and More ....

Setting : Dining table of an old but grand Iyer Aathu in Mannargudi...

. So after three hours of a tiring bus journey , and with the horrible heat and the sapping humidity to contend with , we were literally cooling our feet in the wonderful milieu of this house. Finally, Santa's grandma called us for lunch. The dining table was of pure teakwood, and had some antique charm attached to it , as did the whole of the house. She had kept three plaintain leaves on the table, fresh and sprinkled with water .Sujay and Santa sat next to each other and i sat at the head of the table . I was already feeling a little weird. Not because of my hunger, but ,because of my pangs of guilt . The moment i entered the house , i could observe the staunch 'Aacharam' they practiced ,and , i could not predict how they would react , if they found out that i eat non-veg and that i am a mongrel half-iyer etc...

.Coming back, first came the tantalizing aroma of the 'Urulaikezhangu Podimas '. Did i forget to tell that she had already kept a tumbler of 'Thaengapaal Payasam' . Then came 'Paruppu Kadaiyal' and then the usual 'Murungakka Sambar' ( I could remember her eyes twinkling when she said that the Murungakka's were home-grown). But , i could already feel something different. Santa's grandma was very happy and i could guess the reason . I could imagine the boredom she and her husband would be going through ,day after day, living in this grand house . But with no soul to turn to , no one to speak to , what does opulence and grandeur and count for ??? It was then that it struck me that, this little jaunty trip of ours , meant loads to her . I felt a bit of warmth running through me ,suppressing my thoughts of guilt. And how i can forget the amazing 'Keerai Masiyal ' . It marked the stamp of authentic Brahmin cooking ,and i had never tasted anything like that when it comes to Keerai (sorry mom :)). The best moment of this whole episode was when i asked for more of the same . She said sheepishly that ,she had made very little of it and , that it was over. I guess my guilt by now, was completely overrun , by a growing feeling of warmth extending from my stomach to the heart . Think i knew at that moment , what people mean when they say ' The best way to a person's heart is through his/her stomach ' .

.His grandparents were very happy to have us around . We had a whale of time , exploring the house , taking pics on the 'Oonjal ' and , to round off things brilliantly ,it started to rain. I still remember Santa's grandpa 's 'Rustic' remark about his looks. We were happy to be of some use to two kind hearted people and, its these instances i feel , that lend a bit of meaning to my life.

.Moments worth living for !!! :):):)

PS : Thanks, Santa :)