A Case of Been There, Almost Done That !!!

. Four years in college ,was a great learning curve. Its slope was never constant ,so that should tell you something ,about how things must have been. I went through a number of experiences ,good and bad . I came out of most of them , as a stronger individual and as a more mature person ,realizing and repenting for my mistakes ,and at some instances , feeling happy for the right choices i had made. Some had left me emotionally drained . These were the most difficult to come out off . This is an account of one such experience.

. Most of us ,who land up in engineering colleges, either by will or force ( I belong to the second) , dream of going out ,with a plum and high paying job in their hands. I was no different !!! An Electronics and Communication Engineer by trade, i was left surprised at my lack of interest in core subjects such as Signal Processing, VLSI blah blah blah .... These were the subjects on mastering and understanding, which will land you in dream companies like Texas Instruments, Analog Devices ,Intel , Qualcomm and other behemoths . Our placement season is an around the year process and starts in July and ends in May the next year. NIT Trichy is one of the premier engineering institutes in the country , and you are almost assured of a job ,when you enter . What and which job, is upto you ???

. The placement season is coordinated by the Department of Training of Placement and involves some commited effort and genuine hardwork put in by the Department Placement Representatives ,whom we refer to as "CIC ( Campus Incharge of Companies ) REPS " . Most of the students , atleast those who were serious about jobs ,sat down at the end of third year and started preparing seriously for placements. But, i had already set my sights on higher studies and given my lack of interest in core concepts, i had decided to sit only for management jobs. By the way , i detest coding and programming, so did not want a software job . Naturally, my parents were shocked. Convincing them ,took me the better part of one month. Enough of the background, lets get to the point.

. It was the second week of placements ,and this British based Management and Product Rights company ,was the second on campus after Adobe. It was the first management company on campus, and obviously i decided to try my hand at it . So , i registered for it . Another sop in sitting for a management job , is that you hardly require any prior preparation . As i found out later , all you need is a quick mind, the ability to think on your feet, the ability to hold an audience and convey your thoughts in a focussed and captivating manner .

. The day the company was on campus, i went for the usual power point presentation ,any company puts up before the process starts. I was in formals for the first time , and the blazing July heat did not help at all . I still remember cursing the guy ,who invented formals. They are just not made for the heat. So, i sat in the AC auditorum and was listening to the droning voice of the HRs . They almost put me to sleep. The usual riff-raff about the jobs, workplace , compensation ..... zzzzzz.. zzzzzz.... My friend woke me up after the presentation was over.

. As usual , the next round was a written test. This test was the first instance of the many changes in attitude i went through during the process. The paper though simple was devious and brilliantly set. It thoroughly explored your fundamentals . One simple mistake, you are dead. I came to accept that these guys meant business and ,unknowingly, started to appreciate them and their employers. Lo behold, i qualified the written and the next round was a personal interview.

. So, i had to rush to the aforementioned Training&Placement Department for my interview, next day morning. And , YES , i was wearing a TIE . The first time in my life :D .. It was almost a royal feeling . I experienced a smug satisfaction when , i saw those envious looks , my batchmates were giving me .A few wishes later , i was sitting in the T&P ,waiting for my turn.

. Time stood still ,while i was waiting. For the first time, i was actually feeling nervous during the whole process . I was appearing for my first interview. It was a small step into a professional life, but ,still a significant one. People who went in and came out , displayed emotions across the spectrum. Some were exuberant and happy, some quietly confident, some had the look of horror and some gave away nothing. It made me even more nervous and increased my tension. Finally , my turn came. I drank some water to quench my parched throat and went in.

. Time flied inside. I came out , i had to say smiling and confident that i had done well. It would have been understatement ,to say, that i would have disappointed not to have been selected for the next stage. Again ,another significant change in the attitude.

.So, i went to my room .The results were expected in the evening. I sat nervously, pacing back and forth, twiddling my thumbs, restless and shuffling ,akin ,to an expectant father :) . The results did come finally , and , yes, i was selected for the next stage. It was an on-the-top-of-the-world feeling and i was jumping for joy. Many congratulated me , but ,somewhere within me , a voice whispered that , there was one more stage left. I decided to mute it out and jump for joy. The first mistake and the probably the first sign of complacency beginning to creep in .

.Six of us (3 from my department ) ;3 guys and 3 girls ; were selected to go to their India Operations Office in Bangalore (where else). All we know ,was that we would be spending a day there . We were not informed about what will happen there and, they specifically told us not to prepare anything. It was going to be a first for me in many ways , and i was planning to enjoy it to the maximum . The sweethearts, they were , they were paying for our whole trip. My respect for them ,was growing by the minute :)

. So finally the day came. Again those feelings of nervous anticipation and a fear of negotiating the unknown ,came rushing back. It was as if god had taken a spyglass and was looking at me through them. But , i was confident that i could give my best , and, i was sure that i was primed for the challenge . I still dont know whether this was a feeling bordering on overconfidence .Dont think i will ever be able to figure that out.

. I will never forget that day in my life. It was an exhilirating and amazing experience . Everything about them oozed invention and innovativeness. It was a company that i could relate to and see myself in . As an inquisitive person and as somebody who loves research and innovation ,i found them and their work ethics amazing. I so so badly wanted to get placed there . Again , a huge change in my attitude . A total extreme to the one i had started off with.

. Late in the evening ,we three guys , sat discussing the events and happenings of the day over pastries and coffee at La Boulangerie. The girls had gone for some shopping. All of us were singing their praises ,and i found out that i was not the only one ,who had undergone this sea change in attitude . All of us badly wanted to make it . I was even willing to give up my dreams of ,higher studies to take up this challenging and wonderful job.

.The HRs said they would mail the final results to the T&P , the next day morning. So, all of us returned to Trichy ,that night . I could not sleep that night on the bus . Dont know whether it was because of the cold air-conditioning, but , i attribute it more to the excitement that was flowing through every nerve in my body. I was already dreaming about making it big in the company ,dreaming of drawing my own salary, splurging it and living an amazing life . It was an exhilirating feeling , and i dint sleep a wink on the bus ,that night.

. Morning finally arrived ,and we reached Trichy. Everybody at the hostel , was asking me about how it went, and ,i did not know what to reply , but i just smiled. I think most of them took it ,as , that i had done well . Yes i knew i had done well and was expecting to make the final cut. Overconfidence??? I dont know !!! I just could not wait.

. I still clearly remember the moment. It was during the second hour . The results are first sent to the Department CIC REP ,who then forwards it to the whole class . My name as you know, starts with a 'V' , so i am the last ones to get these group texts. It was a boring Mobile Communication class, and i could suddenly see ripples , in the otherwise dull class . Two girls , one of them ,who had come to Bangalore along with me ,started hugging each other . I knew ,at that instant itself that , it could not be without a reason and every nerve ending in my body, starting firing with anticipation. The guy ,sitting next to me ,was my best friend , and his name started with 'A'. He got the text before me . He just tapped me on my shoulder, and i still clearly remember the exact words he said , " I AM SORRY THAT I HAVE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU" and passed on his mobile.

. There were the ,roll numbers of the people who had been selected from my department. There were two . Mine was not there . The other two had qualified. I just went numb . I was not feeling anything even though the nerve endings were still firing . I just calmly ,gave back the mobile to him and went back to taking notes. The class finally got over. There were hoots and cheers of happiness and screams and peals of joy and excitement. The two who had got through ,quickly came to me and said a cursory sorry and the usual... I cant blame them , can i . On the day, they were better than me .The guy was taken out and his ass whipped. The girl was whisked away to the snacketeria for the treats she owed.

. I just went out of my classroom calmly ,and headed to my room. There was no class, the next hour. I was so suprised at this calm disposition of mine. I slowly walked past hordes of students , their chatter and activities blind to me. I was temporarily deaf, dumb and mute. Then it started. A trickle from my eyes, slowly and slowly , increasing in intensity , until i started crying out in frustration , disappointment and more . My best friend ('A' ) came upto me and put an arm around me ,and i just started crying on his shoulder, in plain sight and in front of everyone. I did not care, i just wanted to cry. He quickly took me to my room . I just kept on crying. I could not think of anything else . He stayed with me till i got back to normal and then left me.

. I opened my laptop and started listening to my favourite song of Coldplay " Where do we go , nobody knows " . I concentrated on the lyrics, never had they seemed so full of life and never could i relate to them this much . For the first time in my life, i actually understood , what people meant by "A calm before the storm " .

.Truly , a case of "Been There, Almost Done That ".

.Dedicated to all my juniors ,who are appearing for their placements this year . I hope this does not happen to you ,but if it does , do take it as a learning experience and try to come out of it stronger.